Bass in your face: Four-stringers discuss their craft, jokes

Ron Martinez of the Lower Class Brats. (Andy photo)

By Andy

I am not a bass player. 

However, I do feel that I can tug at the strings a bit to make a cool noise every once in a while.

The first time I played a bass was at my friend Joe's house in Hermosa Beach, Calif., circa 1981. He phoned me up one Saturday and said he had been given a bass and it was sitting right there in his bedroom. I immediately relived the moment when I saw DOA's raging four-stringer Randy Rampage manhandling his instrument and then chucking it against the back wall of the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium a few weeks earlier. I want to play a bass, no doubt.

"Play 'Six Pack,'" my brother, Ed, told me as I headed out the door toward Joe's bedroom where the magical bass now resided.   

I tried to mimic Chuck Dukowski's snaky moves and play the intro to Black Flag's "Six Pack," but I fell short, of course. At least I got the chance to hammer away at the bass for the afternoon. Joe tried, too, but it sounded awful. We soon pushed the bass aside and headed down to the beach for the rest of the day. We'd watch some real bass players do the job right at the next gig, we thought.

Face it, those major ragers on the four-string motherfuckers are the unsung heroes of bands. There are jokes and memes that rag on every band member, but the bass ones are certainly the most widespread cracks over the 'net. Why is that? 'Cause they only have to handle four strings as opposed to six? Not all bassists hide out at the back of the stage, either, like Judas Priest's Ian Hill, who can deliver the chops better than your local steakhouse any day. So why are they the butt of copious jokes? Who cares, right? As long as they're getting the job done, that's all any band requires.

A pair of gems from The Hard Times newsdesk can garner a load of chuckles: "Irresponsible Musicians Leave Bassist in Hot Van" and "Band Photographer Suggests One Photo Without Bassist Just in Case."

Bassists find these jokes funny, and how can you not laugh at yourself as your days in this world fly by? 

There's Something Hard in There tackled the hard-pressing issue of bass jokes with our friends who make things thump. We also delved into their craft, which hopefully they'll be able to bring to a stage near you soon.

Seriously, there's so much covered within these nine players' insight that this could work as a sort of guide for new and veteran bassists. It's serious, funny and inspiring all in one.

Ron Martinez -- Lower Class Brats

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

What’s the difference between a bass and an onion? No one cries when you chop up a bass.  

We’ve all seen the memes and jokes about how useless a bass player is in band food chain. I didn’t choose the bass 'cause I thought it got me more attention. Truth be told, I bought one 'cause I assumed it would be a lot easier to come up with music ideas to then show to my bandmates (2 less strings!!). I never intended to play the damn thing in a band. That changed when my buddies' group needed a quick replacement and I was asked. I guess they assumed I was going to be easier to get along with than the previous guy who was a pretty wild card. To be honest, I like playing bass more than being a frontman. I get to create and perform music and not have to be the center of attention for the live audience. Win/win. 

And boy if you ever wanted to be treated like a red-headed step child by your band's fans... definitely play the bass or drums!!! No one wants to talk to the rhythm section. Everyone wants to hang out and speak with the singer or guitarist (in that order), it’s pretty hilarious. 

I actually get a kick out of the memes and jokes, 'cause most are goddamn hilarious and if you can’t laugh at yourself then find a new line of work/hobby. Besides any real music fan knows the importance of bass.  Any critics who honestly think my 4-string brethren are irrelevant have shown they don’t know jackshit about music, period. You don’t read countless amounts of commentary about the lack of kick drum or guitar on Metallica’s “And Justice.. “ LP do you? Imagine the Stranglers without JJ Burnell on the bass... (actually don’t, forget I ever said that.) 

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

I couldn’t imaging hearing The Jam without Bruce Foxton’s cleverly placed fretboard acrobatics.  Real Talk: For most rock music, bass doesn’t need to be flashy. Heck.. AC/DC’s bass lines are basic as hell, but they provide that much needed bottom end to the timing foundation that helps push the music. Any musician will tell ya, a group with a solid bass/drum section is going to deliver their music (complex or basic) with more drive and power. I call it the Tom Warrior factor.. making the music go “Hey!!!”  “Ughh!!”.  A solid punch in the gut. 

** Who are your influences?

I like bass playing that doesn’t overdo it with dancing all over the fretboard trying to show up the rest of the band. JJ Burnell does it just right... he knows when to keep things simple and when to add a little somethin’ somethin' to the song. Peter Hook is another fave... so many iconic baselines yet very primal. Rainy from Discharge is drastically overlooked as well, I like his playing a lot. 

** What's your go-to bass?

Currently my go to basses are a '80s Japanese Fender J Bass and a Squire Jaguar. I’ve modded both basses with improvements to the neck, bridge and use Lace pickups. Eventually I’m gonna get an American P Bass -- Olympic white just like Dee Dee Ramone, it’s my bucket list bass. 

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

Best bass line I’ve ever heard?? Hard to choose, but a few that quickly come to mind: Geezer Butler’s opening on Sabbath's "N.I.B," has been known to make me play air-bass, the intro to Black Flag's “Six Pack” I really like the bassline on Elvis Costello’s version of “What’s So Funny Bout’ Peace Love and Understanding” too. I could go on forever...  

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Heather Millward -- The Riffbrokers

(Cat Rose photo)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

 I’m absolutely in love with bass player jokes. I tell them often myself, but I’m hella self deprecating in general, so those are right up my alley. My favorite one is so oddly specific: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? 5? 1? 4? Terribly nerdy, I know.

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

As far as bass playing qualities, my intent is always to be as rock solid as possible. Despite my deep admiration for Mike Watt, my bass playing instincts couldn’t be more different. I’d say I’m much more informed by bass playing such as Toody Cole’s and Kim Deal’s. The strange thing about my own bass playing is that my approach sounds like someone who plays with a pick, but I don’t. I really chalk that up to growing up and going to shows in Boise. There was this weird unspoken thing in the early '90s there with bass players. No one really played with a pick, and when I got my first bass I just assumed that as a rule, you played with your fingers. Because of that, my few attempts with it has a real sensation like I’m attempting to play with a prosthetic foot. Woo! 

** Who are your influences?

Like many people my age, when I first heard the Pixies “Gigantic,” I was leveled. It was so beautifully economic and melodic. I wanted to play bass. Really bad. I was in the 8th grade and my friend’s older brother had given us each a copy of "Surfer Rosa" and "Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars.” My own older sister had introduced me to Bauhaus and MDC a couple years earlier, so I’d already had my first taste of punk and such. This all made me feel like I’d landed on a treasure chest. I couldn’t ingest music fast enough. I’d proclaimed to anyone who listened that my favorite bass player was Kim, and my favorite guitar player was Mick Ronson. I was in the 8th grade, as I noted, so I felt deeply sophisticated in small town Montana. Oddly enough, my first instrument was guitar, but bass was always my true love. 

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

There are so many bass lines that strike me that I don’t know where to start, but I’d like to also mention that one of my most favorite players I know personally is Jim Sangster. His approach is so bloody perfect and powerful; absolute melody. 

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Marc Maxey -- Sloth Fist, Justice League, Pollen Art, Blender and The Killing Flame

(From Maxey's Facebook page. Craig Dobie photo)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

Bassist memes are funny. I just put on my guitar / vocalist hat when reading them!

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player? 

Rhythm and timing, and locking in with the drummer. To me the right hand is more important than the left (for right-handed players).

** Who are your influences? 

Lemmy, Brian Baker, Dee Dee Ramone, Keith Brammer from Die Kruezen.

** What's your go-to bass? 

Fender P-Bass, all I've ever played.

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

"Sold Out" by Gang Green. I warm up with this every show.

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Erin Mountain -- Society Dog

(Cat Rose photo)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

I think those jokes are funny as hell! My favorite is the death metal band that resorted to cannibalism and ate their bassist because they were stuck on the side of the road for a couple hours with van problems.

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

You know it when you hear it. It's not technical proficiency or the notes played, it's how they are played. James Brown called it, you gotta hit "the one." They must be effective. Some wank too much as if they wish they were a guitarist, and that often sacrifices efficacy and power while interrupting the frequencies of the other parts. Maybe we're made fun of because to some, the bass lines can be seemingly simple or an afterthought. Fuck that.

** Who are your influences?

The Ox (Entwistle) was an early favorite when I was a kid, and later seeing that footage when he wore that skeleton suit was so rad. Geezer tears it up on "Fairies Wear Boots" and "Hand of Doom," those hit me early on.

I also grew up around a lot of old soul. I really liked the groove of the early Eddie Hazel guitar era of Funkadelic, which featured Billy "Bass" Nelson on bass and before all the fart synth sounds. The Meters (George Porter Jr.), Sly & the Family Stone (Larry Graham), so killer. You know, the deep groove stuff that sounded so bad ass, scare a square. The simplicity of the '70s dub/reggae players like Flabba Holt is so damn powerful.

Chuck Dukowski, damn. "American Waste" "What I See," "Modern Man" or "No More" are huge.

Dave Chavez is the ruler from here in the bay. Every band he's been in is solid and he's been in so many great ones (Verbal Abuse, Sick Pleasure, Code of Honor, Hot Rod Shopping Cart, SOSA, etc. etc.) plus he's a cool guy and killer skater. "Play like you skate," he told me years ago.

** What's your go-to bass?

I love the Peavey T-40. I've had my 1978 for almost thirty years and it's all I need. It's a big heavy fucker (so am I, I guess), and a bass should be. Good deep tones, I suppose similar to the original p-bass. I'm not a gear guy or collector. I bring my hammer to work. If my hammer were to break, I'll have to get another one.

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

I bet most will throw down some fluid hardcore dude or even a jazz guy. I'll  go with the first time I saw Flipper, Will was still alive but I can't remember if Will or Bruce was on bass that night. But they opened with "Life" and it blew my young mind. Early show for me, and I still get chills in a good way when I hear that tune. Simple, overdriven, and nasty with an excellent beat.

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Gregg Emley -- Holy Grove

(Cat Rose photo)

 ** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes? 

Yeah, I don't really mind 'em. If you can't laugh at yourself, well...

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player? 

For me, it's feel, note choice, and the ability to lock in with the drummer.  

** Who are your influences? 

Not all of these find their way into my playing, but my faves are: Cliff Burton, Geezer Butler, Scott Reeder, Al Cisneros, Geddy Lee, Rick Danko, Aston Barrett, John Wetton and Phil Lesh.

** What's your go-to bass? 

My main is a 2002 Rickenbacker 4003. I've replaced the bridge with a Hip Shot for increased sustain and punch. My back-up is a '76 Fender Jazz.

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?  

Hmmm....too hard to pick one, but some favorites are Geddy's playing on "Cygnus X1", Joe Lally from Fugazi on "Joe #1", and most anything Scott Reeder plays on "Sky Valley"

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Bill Tuck -- Diyu

(Cat Rose photo)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

Honestly many of those joke are justified. Many bass players act very self involved as if they are the most important musician ever, just watch some bass-centric videos on YouTube (tutorials, equipment reviews, etc. I even saw a guy wearing a shirt of himself!)  and you will find a treasure trove of douchebaggery at its finest (or worst depending on your viewpoint). Generally speaking, I could care less about the jokes because I know they’re not about me.

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

Qualities for a solid bass player are those who know how to lay in the pocket and follow the drummer at the most important times of a song and add a little extra at the appropriate time. This quality, in my experience is mainly found in hardcore/punk circles and hard bop jazz. Busy bass players don’t really work for me but boring, unimaginative are way worse.

** Who are your influences?

I have so many but here are a few guys who really influenced me to play bass:

Paul Zamost -- The Effigies.  When I first heard the "Haunted Town" EP, I was completely blown away by his chops. His style and swing is unmatched. His playing only continued to become a more important part of The Effigies sound as they progressed in future recordings.

Geezer Butler -- Black Sabbath.  Geezer has a way of bringing out his personality through his bass playing. He is a classic Brit who played guitar moving to bass (like Noel Redding) and brought the bass to a whole different level especially during the Dio period of Sabbath where Geezer’s playing really shined through.

Mikey Offender -- The Offenders.  Just listen to MDC’s first album (he played bass on that record) and the "Endless Struggle" album. Mikey was a solid yet highly skilled player that had a lot of finesse in his playing. It shined without overshadowing the rest of the band.

Eric Wood -- Man is the Bastard. Eric’s playing is akin to the free jazz era of Coltrane set to fast as hell beats. One could consider it chaos, but with a more refined ear you will hear a player who is consistently trying to bring it next level in terms of skill and chops with his own originality.

Scott Carlson -- Ancient Altar.  Scott’s playing is while original, evokes influences of Steve Harris and Geezer Butler. He really knows how to play the right notes to anchor the guitar and drums without all the bells and whistles that others might inject into their sound.

** What's your go-to bass?

1983 B.C. Rich NJ Bich Bass with GZR Pickups and an early '80s Custon FalCar Bass also with GZR pickups (they sound killer!)

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

It’s definitely Geezer Butler on "Sign of the Southern Cross." His minor but important solo really grabs my ass and starts shaking it not to mention the rest of the song!

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Doug Carrion -- Field Day, Dag Nasty and Descendents

(Photo by Josh Coffman)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

I’d agree musicians are generally a funny bunch and also I recognize there are zillions of variations that constitute a decent musician and or player. Although bass players can end up on the wrong side of a joke, it is after all a joke and I’m not overly rattled in any way by the jab. If you spend your day creating “why did the chicken cross the road jokes” who am I to judge?  Generally speaking in life I have a tendency to stay in my own lane and the same can be applied to my style of bass playing. The question I constantly ask myself is “how best to service a particular song?”

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

That depends on the genre of music, time, budgets, needs, on and on.

Let’s break it down into major parts: 90% is personality and professionalism, and 10% is actual skillset and playing ability which must equal dragon's layer status.

Example -- Paul McCartney kills it in both areas: Regarding the 10% skills and ability, you might not even notice he’s a great bass player because he’s staying in his own lane and servicing the songs based on what’s needed. That’s the genius part of his playing. Tina Weymouth would be another example. Less is more = MORE :)

Simplicity vs. busy -- Right hand vs, the left hand (assuming you’re a right handed player). DeeDee Ramone: the right hand does all the work, which is perfect for their band. Matt Rancid: both right and left hands working overtime, which is perfect for breaks and counterpoints to the songs.

Listen to Rufus & Chaka Khan "Tell Me Something Good": The genius to this part is the lack of notes, which creates the solid pocket. It takes discipline to stay in your own lane and play simple.

Bernard Edwards from Chic, listen to Le "Freak." They start with a chorus intro -- he is literally playing and repeating 2 notes for the first 25 seconds of the song, but once the verse kicks in, the bass part is rock solid. He's playing a crazy complicated bass part in the verse only to come back to the 2 notes in the chorus, which makes it feel like a breakdown. FUCKING GENIUS - if you like funk.

** Who are your influences?

Players I appreciate can range depending on the style of music I’m listening to but that’s not necessarily how I play, it’s just what I notice. Carol Kaye, Mike Watt, Charlie Hunter, Charlie Porter, any of the above bass players they all rock. My influences are more based on a “what” vs. a “who.”  I’m influenced by simple minimalistic lines on paper, in art, in a song, in a photograph, it’s the balance within the song that I’m striving for.  

** What's your go-to bass?

As of late, a Fender Mustang bass with the PJ pickup configuration. It’s amazingly light and growls just enough to cut through distorted guitars both live and in the studio. Winner!!

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

Not sure, but the best bass line I heard today is Kool and the Gang's "Jungle Boogie."

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Pat Hoed -- Santa Sabbath, Nip Drivers, Down By Law, Left Insane, God's Gift to God, Black Widows, Slowrider and Foreign Object.

(Courtesy of Hoed)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

I get a tremendous kick out of those jokes. Offense is never taken! I always liked the bass player jokes better than the drummer jokes. In fact, my recent favorite is the one about the band forgetting about the bass player and he or she was still locked up in the van. You know the old saying, "If you can't laugh at yourself..."

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

I think the most common answer you'll hear is that a solid bass player has good "feel." Yes, that's cliche at this point but it remains true! Learning to play and interact well with different drummers helps to develop that skill. And when it comes to heavy, aggressive music, the bass player has no choice but to lead the charge. A good example of this is Tufty Clough's playing on the classic Zero Boys LP, "Vicious Circle." To quote the great SST roadmaster Davo Claasen, "You are the drivah!"

** Who are your influences?

James Jamerson, Geezer Butler, Graham Maby, Jeff Berlin.

** What's your go-to bass?

Fender Precision hands down!!

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

Toss up between "Teen Town" (Weather Report) and "Darling Dear" (Jackson 5). I'm sure I'll think of others long after I've sent this but these are the ones that came to mind first. Cheers!

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Mike Catts -- Redshift

Catts in the center. (Cat Rose photo)

** Do you get a good laugh out of those jokes?

I think it's always important to not take yourself too seriously, so memes like that are cool -- especially if they're on point. Some of my favorite musician jokes make fun of bassists. That said, there's never been a shortage of people taking cheap shots, so I think (as bass players) we're pretty used to taking it all in stride. 

** What are the qualities that make for a solid bass player?

The best players are always focused and listening to the rest of the group, not just tearing through the songs. Bass is kind of unique in that it helps to establish/advance both the harmony and rhythm and there can be a lot of opportunities to overstep your bounds. Keeping that balance by really paying attention to what's happening on stage and only trying to add what's needed is important, in my opinion. And showing up on time and not causing problems are also key, even though that's super basic.

** Who are your influences?

When I was a kid I listened to a bunch of early Motown with my Pop, so James Jamerson and all that usual type of stuff for sure. Also, coming from a jazz background, I'm always trying to channel a little Monk, Mingus, P. C., Ron Carter and Christian McBride, no matter what I'm playing. When it comes to harder/funkier stuff, I'd have to say players like Tim Commerford, Flea, Adam Yauch, Bootsy Collins, Vic Wooten and Thundercat. 

** What's your go-to bass?

For all things rock, I had really been enjoying my '77 Fender Musicmaster. It's really fun to play, light weight, and sounds great in those live settings -- but since the start of the pandemic most of my recordings at home have been on my late '90s Warwick Thumb bass. 

** What's the best bass line you've ever heard?

That's a tough question, but I'd have to say the song "Flash Light" by Parliament because that tone is so nice and that track still hits every time. I've seen all types of folks get down to that bass line, so there has to be something to it.